Baby got ... jeans?

The fashion industry acknowledges Sir Mix-a-Lot's prophetic words

After years of watching Kate Moss strut down the runway and mannequins wearing a size 0, clothing companies are finally trying to cut their clothes for women who enjoy eating.

So why does the fashion industry, despite their good intentions, get the title of "Idiot(s) of the Day?"

It's taken them 30 years, since the dawn of Twiggy, and only now they're realizing that women have hips.

And what they have yet to realize is that having a big ass isn't a fashion statement - it's a way of life.

You've been a very, very bad employer.

Employee Spanking Inferno

Paul Eugene Levengood, owner of Tasty Flavors Sno Biz, seems to have taken the movie Secretary a bit too seriously. Sexual assault charges have been filed against him after two female employees claimed that he spanked them as punishment for mistakes made at work.

When they first began work at Tasty Flavors Sno Biz, at least one of the women was forced to sign a statement that read: "I give Gene permission to bust my behind any way he sees fit."

And oh, how I wish that was my punchline for this post. Unfortunately, it's not. That's actually what one of the women had to sign.

If Mr. Levengood is found guilty, I wonder what his punishment will be?

Trick or Crack Treat

Nose Candy?

On Friday, a first grader in Orlando, Florida brought $1,000 worth of crack to class. Her mother claimed that the child must have gotten it while trick or treating. A perfectly logical explanation - who didn't have that one neighbor who gave out "fun size" needles of heroin?

The girl has since been suspended from school. Evidently, she didn't share well.

Pre-emptive strikes

The National Guard Fights Terrorism On the Monkey Bars

Wednesday night, an F-16 pilot fired off 25 rounds of ammo at the Little Egg Harbor Intermediate School. The pilot's mission was to fire at a target range about 3.5 miles away, but instead mistook the school for the firing range.

Which begs the question, what exactly does this training ground look like?

Saving lions from damnation

Man Jumps into Lion Den.

Despite one man's best efforts, you will not be greeted by the Taipei Zoo lions when you reach the pearly gates.

Obviously, someone misunderstood the story of Daniel in the lion's den. Unlike Daniel, the man attempted to convert the lions by jumping into the lion's den and promising salvation. He then switched tactics, opting instead for reverse psychology by saying "Come bite me."

Congratulations. You may not have saved their souls, but you did win the first ever "Idiot of the Day" award.