The Future Is Here.

The British Army launches Skynet satellite to enhance military communication.

Has Arnold taught us nothing? Has James Cameron's hard work been for naught? They were trying to warn us, people, but we ignored them. Much like the crazy guy down the street who talks to himself, they are the unappreciated prophets of our time.

Prepare for the creepy robots with the glowing eyes. Skynet is upon us.

Love, Midieval style

Apparently, surgeries to restore a woman's hymen are on the rise in Europe.

Apparently, surgeries to reconstruct a woman's hyman are becoming more and more common in Europe, especially in the Muslim communities where virginity is highly valued.

“If you’re a Muslim woman growing up in more open societies in Europe, you can easily end up having sex before marriage,” said Dr. Hicham Mouallem, who is based in London and performs the operation. “So if you’re looking to marry a Muslim and don’t want to have problems, you’ll try to recapture your virginity.”

I'm not against this. No, I just think we should have it go both ways. After all, there's no way for me to know if my future husband is a virgin, and quite frankly, I don't want some tarnished man trollop frolicking in my marital bed.

So here's what I'm proposing: a surgical male hyman. We can even give it a catchy name to make it more appealing, like He-man Hyman Surgery. I don't know the specifics of how it would work, because I'm a blogger and assistant, not a doctor, but I'm working on some preliminary sketches. I'd post them, but I don't want to risk voiding any patent rights I might have to it.

Not everyone would have to submit themselves to it, but if your wife's virginity means enough to you that you'd do the old blood on the sheets trick, it's only fair really that you offer her the same consideration.

Plus, you're probably going to be fumbling with her bra that first time and last all of a minute and a half - don't you, at the very least, want the excuse that it's your first time?